6th February 1976
INTRODUCTION

The anniversary of Bloody Sunday, when thirteen people were shot dead in the Bogside, passed almost without note. The number of people who marched was the smallest for the four years that it has been an event on the Bogside calendar. It would appear, judging by the speeches, that the Provisional Sinn Fein are clutching at straws to maintain credibility The hooligan element proved what little control the leaders of the march had over them; they got bored with the speechmaking very quickly and stoned our observation posts and check points. This gave 94 Battery their first opportunity to practice riot drills since we arrived.

Since Sunday it has been quiet again in the area. Everything goes in fits and starts, designed to keep us guessing.

The Regiment has continued to add to the list of sporting achievements for this year. The hockey team beat 1WFR in the Army cup after a marathon game. Extra time was played of ten minutes each way and then extra time of five minutes each way, both without achieving a result. This led to a penalty flick competition and we won 7 goals to 6.

This is the first of the last three editions of the news letter and it is evident that everyone is thinki9ng of the return to Fallingbostel.

 

MASONIC MADNESS (BHQ)
When someone asked me to provide a few lines for the newsletter, I put the request aside with all the other "bumpf?! in my 'pending" tray. Imagine my surprise when the BSM asked me for a letter, I thought at first he and Rose were not talking again. But just to let you know that it isn't all pen pushing, filing, Bty Orders and "BCs" orders, here are a few tales about some of the lads.

Firstly, Big Jim McMenemy wants Mick Newsome to know that he isn't a "gorilla' and the next time he's called it, he won't be eating nuts, he'll be crushing them.

While-"Taff" Mantle was changing his gas bottle the other night he unfortunately dropped himself in the sh*t. He is now looking for the guy who left the manhole cover off the sewer hole, whilst nursing a sore rib cage and a foul smelling pair of DMS boots. and thinking of accidents, you will be pleased to know that Roe the "Crow" will soon be fit enough to play hockey again once his right eye has opened. The only trouble is, we have a job getting both of them open anyway, and it's not true that he is only an "afternoon man"..

The Q stores are now back in order since the carpenter and welder repaired all the shelves. Nobody has blamed Big !J' Baylor for the damage yet and he would like it known that he already knew from a "good* source" that he wasn't going back until the 9th of March.

It is thought in our circle, that Gnrs Rafferty and Haskayne don't see eye to eye.
Even though they work together, go out together (drinking) and share the same room, they don't seem to have the same views on male names. Haskayne, for some reason, --still won't believe that his name is "Betty". We can't think why.

The BSM would like it known that he is not looking for members of the Bty to start a Plymouth Hockey Supporters club and if any of the Bty do turn up without a proper invitation, he will really show them what a goal looks like.

Well to finish with, the "Q" master bloke wishes everyone to know that he is now back in combats for good co's he's had his uniform cleaned and packed away. Mind you, he must still have some spare time, co's he compiled the following ditty for the fighting boys of the Bty.

It was sickening to know we,d took over,
It's been hectic what we've had to do.
We're sick of pig, bedford and rover
We look forward to greet you 32

The yobs in the Bogside arc joyful,
They know all of us now by name.
Though our faces are stern and quite serious
To the Boggies it's all one big game.

Our finds at first were all trifles,..
Till wee Geordie arrived with his lot.
He found numerous shotguns and: rifles, A grand little lad is our "Grott".
.
The lads patrol smartly and upright,
Though their faces are tense and in pain.
It's not from the bricks and the bottles,
But the biting lash of the rain.

'Brits out; Up the Pope; You're not wanted;
We will win; British pigs; Provo rule
These are the thoughts of the boggies,
In their slogans they paint on the wall.

Every day, aching feet, tired bodies,
Weary eyes, tired limbs, wanting rest.
Patrolling the streets with their leader,
All aiming to give him their best.

Eight men alone in the darkness,
Not knowing if danger is near.
Dreading the bomb and the sniper,
For these are the things that they fear.

Arriving back into the car park,
Unload, report in, have a brew.
Then relax, with a smoke and the friendship,
Of the rest of the boys in the crew.

when everyone,s sleeping and silent,
You lay there with thoughts on your mind.
Of your sweetheart, your wife and your children,
That you left long ago, far behind.

You hope they are safe, for you love them,
You miss them of that you are sure.
You long for the day you're together,
And pray you won't part anymore.

So wait for the boys who relieve you,
And you can then smile once again.
We,ll hand over duties to 32
with the Bog and the wind and the rain.

C TROOP NEWS

Since our last contribution to the Regimental Newsletter very little has happened in the Strand Area. However,.,the Troops morale is high as the days fly bye. Who would ever have thought that a little insignificant town in Germany with no night life could have been a soldiers idea of heavenly paradise!

Last weekend, which we had all expected to be an eventful one, was in fact a rest from the usual prangs of youths. Instead they all picked on the other Batteries. The real reason for this happening was that the yobos know now that we are to good for them. Seriously, we would like to congratulate the Batteries who were involved in various scraps on their fine performance and hope that those who failed to dodge bricks make a speedy recovery. Who knows it might be our turn again next weekend to defend the plant pots of the Strand.

2 section, normally commanded by Bdr Billy Hamilton was commanded for a short while by Bdr Mick Organ. Billy was engaged in football training and Mick wanted to buy a new can of pledge for his head, this being the only way he could get out of the ops room. Mick (pussycat) Organ, well known for his rather large konk, had his first exciting moment when a woman with a large megaphone was protesting in favour of Frank Stagg and also recruiting for the IRA. There were thirteen of an audience, nine old ladies, Bdr Organ and three men from 2 section. It is hereby denied that Bdr organ thought this was the basis for a full scale riot and has decided that the ops room isn't all that bad after all. But it was a very kind gesture for him to help 2 section out in the absence of their commander and was appreciated by Bdr Hamilton,

The following was overheard on the radio when Bdr Dave Quinn, on a security patrol, was tasked to check the Strand:

Hullo 2 this is 21A, yes it,s still there, returning to you location now over.
2 Roger out - pause.
Hullo 22B this is 21A, From the rear over,
22B nice out.
(The Strand is behind Waterloo Car Park - Ed)

As for 3 section, commanded by Sgt Mick (Toothypeg) Thorpe, life continues to be full of fun with such characters as Lbdr (I want to arrest him) Rick Fieldhouse, Lbdr (2IC) John Morgan, Lbdr Geordie "Wae Aye" Stanton, Gnr Porky (I'm going to get a skinhead) Portlock and the rest of Charlie Section (alias the Mafia).

Last of all, the troop is commended on its arresting of stone throwers. We will get them put away one of these days, wait and see.

KING TROOP CAPERS

Well having been informed that this is to be my last article for the Regimental Newsletter while we are in Ireland there was no further incentive needed to stir me into picking up my pen. It is the writing I have problems with.

In the last few weeks we have seen little of note happening in our patch. Over the weekend we had a bit of bother from our friends in the Bog. Most of the rioters had just come out of nappies but I,m assured by 'Windsor Addlington that they do not drill in the nursery. I would like to compliment the boys for their part during the riot. It was a change from observation post duties.

We have had two arrivals to the troop Gnrs"Boots" Lacey, and "Mac MacArdle.
The latter having spent most of his service in The Kings Troop and the Officers Mess has made an outstanding transformation and has integrated into his section with remarkable ease and professionalism.

We have lost one of our big knobs to the drivers section -. Gnr Dear who by the time we leave, I hope will be able to find his way to Fort George without making a mistake.
Although we have not yet completed our tour I feel, this being my last article, we must conclude with a few reflections of our time over here.

The take over from 2nd Field Regt is referred to by the troop as being like the feeling a Jockey gets when he successfully clears the first jump of a course but hurts himself so
badly he wishes he had fallen.

The observation post duty is similar to !the water, having completed three days they can come up for air.

One happy note when they reach the last month of their tour they can refer to the end, as would a tipster, as the 'going is good
.
Without doubt our three months so far have been full of variety if not all that terribly exciting. An arms find, the arrest of two men in connection with a murder, a knee-capping, a riot, the apprehension of a youth hopefully to be charged with assault, and finally the hot pursuit of two males of a rather dubious nature.

Out thanks to the authors of "The Informer" and we all hope to see one final edition before our return to Fallingbostel - that's if the author has not been recruited into the 'Parachute Artillerymen' as the Advert says.

The get-together on return to Fallingbostel after leave will have to be delayed by a least fourteen days - as your Troop Commander will be engaged on other activities.
Finally a thank you in print for producing your best over the last three months and let,s make these next few weeks even better.

A TROOP RIDE ON AND OUT
Well somebody has got to say something about A .Troop, before .we are given up for lost. He has finally gone on his R & R, yes its "what can I say Dick our illustrious leader from the sky. Enjoy yourself and dont, come back saying you had a quiet time because it won't wash. Now to get down to some of the lads' that make up this troop of heroes.

1
(Puff Pack) section is commanded by Bdr (crush your skull) Barber
who keeps saying hard luck Leeds yet again, They also have Lbdr Harry (I,ll do it Sarge) Shaw, the only blue eyed person in the Battery let alone the troop. Poor lad is having female troubles at the moment so we are informed by Aussie.
Lcpl Aussie (dont bend down) Fairweather who still thinks there are 365 puffs in a year. The rest of the section are Gnrs Dan (Crewe Rule) Dalzell, 520, first back off R & R Willy (Nig) Williams, Colin (the bells are ringing) Hattenboer, sorry I cant mention anymore because I will run out of ink.

 

2
(Rat Pack) section led by Bdr Charlie (The Whale) Castle with Lbdr Dan (Harp) Archer"& Lcpl (Tartan Kid) McNaught, These two likely lads were last seen moving into the Wog Shop, They are followed by Gnrs Steve (I've split my tights) Landers, Dave (Playboy Kid) Dalzell, 521, the two troop muggers Jim Cox & Dave Levy not forgetting Jacko (The Count) Jackson.
In the last Newsletter or was it the one before that said that Jacko had got his teeth, well he hasn't got em yet, and he wanted them as a souvenir to remeber the Army by before being -demobbed. The Rat Pack send their luv.

Well its time! Oh! I nearly forgot 3 (Bed Pack) section. How could one forget those lads. Quite easy really when the blankets are always over them and are organised by Bdr (Tetese fly) Waterman. We have heard from a higher source that the plant pots are to be moved and beds put out in place of them. Closely followed by that Bradford Jock, Lbdr Bell, Jock reckons he is the only white wog over to come out of the highlands. Lbdr Taffy (Lambchop) Evans last seen on top of snowdon in his Wellies, I was talking to him in the next Cubicle that was before R & R said the Climate suits him over here and is thinking of another 4 month tour. He has got over that illness now and back on the streets in his Wellies. Gnr George (E-:ad .gorO Waldie was last seen doing press ups in 2 feet of snow with a I51b lead weight tied to his chin.

Tony (FU) Bullock and Pat congratulations on the arrival of your little boy, from all the lads we wish you many more in the future. Gnrs Sooty Sutcliffe, Nancy Norman and all the other lads who have failed to be mentioned

Finally to all the A Troop wives, see you soon and get the Ale in.

STATEMENT OP PHILOSOPHY
Putting something away for a rainy day requires a much longer stretch of dry weather than it used to-

Glamour is an inside job

From our City Centre Correspondent

Hopes are high in Hawkin Street tonight that the continuing ceasefire between the warring HINT and HOPS factions will hold.
The 37th ceasefire in the present troubles was negotiated last week following top-level talks between the leaders of the two sides Hintenfuhrer Sibley and Hoppingmad Truffet.

Reports received over the weekend, however, indicate that power has since been wrested from Truffet in a spectacular coup that has forced Truffet to flee the country and brought to power a hitherto unknown, Hopscotch Ramsay. Fears that this change in leadership might affect the current truce have so far proved groundless despite unreasoned allegations by the new leader of misappropriation in the Stilton trade and growing demands from within his own party for the reinstatement of Truffet.
Many believe that the overthrow was masterminded by Truffet's former deputy, Magnus Mallinder, business magnate and owner of BSM Ltd (Boots, Shirts and Motor Cars). However the somewhat shadowy role played by the newly-appointed Director of Operations; Marshall Dyan, whose voice is increasingly being heard, is as yet uncertain, His latest call to re-arm with the new 9mm Dymo could seriously threaten the peace of the area.

Evidence of a new desire for detente by the parties can be found in the recent magnanimous gesture by the Hintenfuhrer that has allowed access by HOPS to privileged information relating to the outside world. This will now enable HOPS to deploy their forces with a new precision and must be regarded as a major concession by HINT that has yet to be reciprocated.

The comparative stability of the HINT faction has surprised observers. Their storm troopers have been kept well in check with the emphasis apparently being placed upon subversion and the development of new techniques in interrogation. The counsel of the soothsayer Blackburn, who roams the land a/b night and has strange dreams, is much sought and few question the authenticity of his recent premonition of fire and destruction in neighbouring Rucland.

Speculation grows daily that the newly-formed Advance party will soon become a political reality. With repatriation as its principal platform the party is finding wide appeal and threatens to split both HINT and HOPS in the near future. In the meantime, efforts to secure a permanent and lasting peace continue„

PAUSE FOR THOUGHT
Most people give up smoking in two stages: first they give up their cigarettes, then they give up yours.

Scientists have discovered an antiworld where time runs backwards and everything as we know it -is reversed. We've been calling it Monday

FORT GEORGE SCENE
The last leg of our tour has been marked by the return of our beloved MOLAR. He returned in the early hours of the morning of the 31st Jan after leaving Fally in the early hours of the morning of the 30th Jan. It would appear therefore, that CRAB AIR once again excelled themselves in the art of modern transport - roll on Concorde. They might manage to keep up with a balloonist then.

After a mad dash from Fally to Gutersloh, he and Padre Webb dashed into the CRAB AIR RECEPTION to report in. A very "official" flight sergeant greeted the two with a "your 10 minutes late - fill in this form giving your reason". A very apologetic MOLAR took the form and filled it in on behalf of himself and the PADRE.

Our hero,s were then ushered from one lounge to another for 10 hours - the monotony being broken on two occasions by a 500 yard walk to the Airmans Mess for egg, chips and beans. (The RAF catering staff show nearly as much imagination as those on the RAMS HEAD).

Poor MOLAR, due mainly to his age, let the situation get the better of him on more than one occasion and insulted everyone within earshot of Gutersloh. In superb Churchillian fashion he was heard to say, "Never in the field of modern aviation, have so many, been mucked about, by so few, in such a short time". The situation was certainly not improved for MOLAR by having the Padre interject his curses with "forgive them father for they know not what they do".

By 10 pm MOLAR could stand it no longer and screamed out to the CRAB AIR directors of which there appeared to be five for every office in the building, 'I gave you my reason for being 10 minutes late - Now give me your reason for the last 10 hours". This was received by a sea of blank faces which one has now become accustomed to seeing at Gutersloh.

It would appear that the might of the CRAB AIR TRANSPORT COMMAND decided to go 'bust at the same time. Of course, MOLAR should have realised that he was about to suffer some delay, he had met Capt Ian Truffet, looking more shattered going on R & R than one would have expected.

On inquiring why he was shaking and sweating like an expectant father, he related how he had spent the last few minutes flying around Gutersloh while the CRABS cranked the landing gear down by hand as the hydraulic system had failed.

The Air Transport Liaison Officer was very sympathetic and told the sixty odd passengers who had by this time been crowded like cattle into the departure lounge which was at a temperature of 110 degrees, due to the fuel saving drive that they haven't yet heard about, "The aircraft of flight 2386 to Aldergrove has mechanical trouble and the next plane in will be tasked for this flight there will be a delay of approx one hour - thank you. A trip to the "URKS MESS", a plate of egg, chips and beans, and two hours later, the very helpful ATLO decided to keep us up to date with the situation.

"GENTS" referring to us all as if we were a public convenience, "GENTS , the plane which was tasked to carry out flight 2?86 to Aldergrove has sprung a leak in a starboard engine we are doing all we can to get the aircraft air worthy and will have you in Aldergrove before you know it".

The thought of the RAME HEAD was now plaguing the MOLAR 's mind and he went quietly to a corner singing his favourite song - There's a ship lies rigged and ready in the harbour" finishing off with "and I'll be aboard that ship tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after".

Some four hours later the friendly ATLO grovelled up to MOLAR and said - "Would you please inform all the passengers that the plane tasked for flight 2j86 to Aldergrove cannot be repaired and we are tasking an air-frame from LYNHAM to do the job -"If you would like to go to the Airmans Mess for a meal". Molar with a wry smile said "are you afraid to tell them?"

We eventually got airborne and it wasn't too long before we got to Aldergrove - those intrepid pilots up front, ALCOCK and BROWN, really gave it stick and we made the flight in the same time as Concorde takes to go to Bahrain.

Having talked our way through HM CUSTOMS, and the Padre having given the chap an angelic smile .and successfully getting through with a bottle of GIN, WHISKY, VERMOUTH, 2 bottles of wine and 6OO cigarettes, we searched out the faithful driver, L Bdr Les HARRISON.
There followed an argument, who was to sit in the front with the driver - Molar pulled rank on the Padre who stated that he was GOD's right hand man - MOLAR positioning himself in the front seat adjusting the safety belt, smiled and said that he was the CO's right hand man, and settled himself for the next two hours journey.
Finally arriving at Britians last outpost "Fort George", Molar was greeted by a portly RQMS Covell, a Corpulent Trixie Filby, and a pathetic looking S/SGT "Smudger" Smith who was suffering from an injury sustained at the ALTNNE-GELDING hospital.

After drinking a nice cup of tea, being handed the latest PENTHOUSE magazine Molar returned to his bed in his little iron bunk aboard the NAVY,s answer to the cod war, at 1:30 am (LOCAL).
Twenty minutes later the Padre could be heard playing his tape recording of his children singing "All things bright and beautiful" interrupted by a metalic bang and the sound of the Chancellor, Captain David Logan, Tittering a few highland Oaths . A smile appeared on the Molar's face as he snuggled into his blankets and mumbled "we made it".

J Troop Jottings
Hello readers.! Yet again we've been asked to write a few lines for the Regimental Newsletter. Things have been fairly quiet here just lately, though we did have a bit of aggro with some Frank Stagg demonstrators, and as a result L Cpl Ian Elliot ended up with a sore foot, just before going on R & R. We hope it it didn't keep him out of action Viv.
Also on Sunday one of our checkpoints manned by Bdr Roger Glanfield, Pte Tony Firth and Gnr Steve Langgaard was stoned heavily, but it wasn't anything that the "J troopers couldn't handle.

We would like to say a belated welcome to Gnr Ken Baily who has just rejoined 18 Battery and to L Cpl Marty Peacock who is joining us on loan for a few days from G Troop, we hope that he can take the J Troop pace.

We'd also like to congratulate two of our number, Cpl Dave Mackay and Gnr Bobby Williams who are playing football for the Regiment in the Gunner Cup, also Sgt Sammy Douglas who has put lots of time and effort in as trainer. The match is being played in Plymouth, so they gain a couple of days leave as well. All the best lads.

The weather here has been pretty lousy of late, mainly because of the low temperature. Gnr Al Green has taken to wearing his leather "cat" suit and a pair of long Johns, very warm, but dangerous should nature call, let's hope he has no accidents.

Recently we (Mac & Griff') aquired a pack of "Baromint" laxative chewing gum from a lorry driver who assured us of it's smooth easy action. He claimed that with just one piece frequent visits to the loo would be called for and with two pieces don't bother, just stand clear. This was forgotten for a while until the unsuspecting WRAC rover appeared on the horizon, Lbdr McPherssons eyes immediately lit up (1 haven't seen anyone so happy since Cpl Wally Townson got locked in the bedding store)
The Rover stopped and very casually Griff wearing his best Paul Newman look offered the 'chewing gum" round, four young ladies in green ripped the pack from his hand and proceeded to shove them in their mouths and chew rapidly.
The rover pulled away leaving us with tears running down our cheeks. We haven't had any come back so perhaps it didn't work.
As something to look forward to in Fally, Gnr "Fitzi" Fitzgerald is producing his Elvis act at every opportunity, he even graced the "boozer" at Ebrington Bks with a small but very sufficient sample of his talent. Its said that if someone hadn't stopped him he'd still be swinging now.

Many people may remember his last performance, but don't let this deter you. His new manager is Sgt Les Charlton, a bit of a swinger himself, he,s worth watching but then the MO recently said the same .

Well as this small epic draws to a close (we kept it short as we didn,t want the PRO to get jealous of our literacy skills)
From all of us here, we hope that everyone's well and happy back there , and not to worry, the time is rapidly getting nearer to us being safely home



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