30th January 1976
INTRODUCTION

Winter has struck with a vengeance, Snow and rain along with the wind have made it much colder although not a patch on Fallingbostel. Although it is not as comfortable as sunshine it certainly keeps people off the streets which is preferable.
We have had some success at arresting hooligans who threw stones at the Waterloo Place Checkpoint a fortnight ago.
This success has given a great boost to everyone's morale. This was especially the case when it was evident that the RUC couldn't handle them at the rate we were bringing them in and the operation had to be extended by a day.
The Regiment continues to excel at sport. The basketball team were runners up in the Northern Ireland Army Championship. Then the rugby team beat 3rd Regiment RHA by 15 points to 6 in the Mcllwaine Cup. This means we go on the UK semi-final and play 29 Commando Regiment,
Major Davies has been showing how PR stunts should be done in managing to stop Mary Peters at one of his check points and then inviting her into Hawkins Street for tea.

CONGRATULATIONS
We send congratulations to Gunner and Mrs Bullock on the birth of their son.

The Silent Majority
We call ourselves the silent majority, but that is not a hundred percent correct; there are only four of us. But because we look after the Officers of Tac and Waterloo we feel like the men behind the seat of power or what the newspapers (theirs not ours) would call the Silent Majority.
The leader of the bunch is Sgt Reg Pink. His main job is to prepare and look after the Stilton. For the uninitiated Stilton is a cheese, and according to the PR pamphlet - the King of English cheese, blue veined, creamy, crumbling- and mellow flavoured. The Stilton is the most discussed subject by the officers at dinner even more than the aggro at Waterloo Place. The makers recommend, and there are one or two who disagree that it should be sliced off the top and not scooped out of the middle. Another point of argument has been whether to pour port into the cheese (us lesser mortals only drink it) one thing is certain, neither cheese nor wine is improved. Enjoy each in its own right. However we might suggest to the higher mortals that to eat Stilton with crusty bread, fresh butter and a glass of cool beer is the best way and so perhaps they won't have to talk about it again unless the small putty like polyurethane variety is presented again by the head duffer.

Lbdr Glyn Roberts is the second in command and is responsible for ensuring that the wine is at the correct temperature for the Officers palates, something he always fails to achieve.
Chilled does not mean turned to ice, room temperatures of below zero because the heating has failed again do not mean that red wine has to be served at that temperature. Now he has finished reading all the horsy books from the mobile library he has promised to take more care.

Gnr Hammond is the general factotum in the mess. Always on duty with fingers in the soup and slopping gravy all over the table its no wonder the officers never use a table cloth (or is that their excuse). It is rumoured that he plans to get married in March and should make the unfortunate girl a very good wife.

The fourth member of this crew is Gnr Dennis Portman: seldom seen in Waterloo Car Park as he looks after the material welfare of the Tac Officers. All we hope is that they haven't found too many fag holes in the sheets where his constant companion has fallen out of his mouth.

Finally we look forward to returning to Fallingbostel only so we have more people to be the power behind: on reflection we must be the silent minority.

H TROOP NOTES
Thoughts at the moment are mainly geared towards March and some freedom; be that as it may, the task still goes on with the occasional high-light as we had on the 26 Jan, A stone throwers list with photographs was issued and the Battery went flat out to apprehend anyone who resembled one of the pictures on the list. This met with &c much success that the RUC had to stop us bringing them in due to the congestion they caused at
the RUC station in Strand Road. The list was compiled after a moderate riot two Saturdays ago at the Waterloo Place check point.

The BC is at present on R & R and any reference to his being in conference with Percy Thrower is pure speculation. The saga of the flower pots goes on, when one ,;ark night last week a little old woman from Patrick Street almost suffered a fate worse than death. She nicked a flower from one of our pots and pursued by the standby section was tracked down and cornered before managing to effect her escape at the end of the Strand Road. It was lucky the standby section were there as it was all they could do to restrain the BC and retrieve the stolen item.

Derek Beech and the boys have been in the news again, when they were interviewed by the BBC for a local radio programme. I hate to think what the general public really heard when it was finally broadcast.

We hear D troop are after a new troop commander due to Mr Cook trapping his fingers in the hatch of a pig while giving the victory sign to the colonel during the riots last week. To help them out H troop would like to donate Mr Pyper to look after them, You could call him a sort of sleeping partner.

The troop would like to congratulate Gnr Ben Cartwright when he reaches the ripe old age of 5 on the 29th of this month. It.must be quite frustrating having to wait 4 years for your next birthday. We won't accept his plea to being under age to serve here.

Over heard at a checkpoint in the Strand Road
"Get us a cup of water, Steve".
"We've got none Barney!!
"Well make us a cup of tea then."

QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Lbdr Allen, when asked how many UDR soldiers were at his check point;

"Approximately three."

Stevensons Rockets
The troop has been extremely busy during the last two to three weeks with an increase in the level of our activity in the patch. R and R has come and gone which is a relief in some ways. We have seen another change round in observation posts which has given everybody a change of scenery and a chance to be a Penthouse Pet in the Embassy building.
Only 9 section and Sgt Tommy Leitch have missed out on this duty as it seems unlikely that they will have another change round before we leave in March.
Sgt Leitch assures me this is alright as he didn’t like the décor in the bathroom anyway.

David Leake visited us last week and went out into the bush with Bombardier (Ena) Sturgess who gave him a comprehensive tour with a mobile patrol.
The patrol comprised of hand picked volunteers from that well known midland town “Stoke in the Poke” as we go into the month of February all the chuff charts or days to do calendars starts to appear on the walls. I think the countdown has begun..

POLITICAL ANGLES
SOCIALISM:
You have two cows; the government takes both and gives you the milk.

COMMUNISM:
You have two cows; the government takes both and sells you the milk

FASCISM:
You have two cows; the government takes both and shoots you

EEC
You have two cows; the government shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows; you sell one and buy a bull.
BHQ ~ 49 (INKESMAN) BATTERY RA

Midway between the Guildhall and Strand Cinema car park housing an anonymous building which was kindly put at the Armys disposal for use as an operational Centre. The building houses most of the BHQ hierarchy and it is hear that one can hear some of the worlds different dialects.
As an operations centre it is the nerve centre of the 49th.
May be you have been told about its routine, but just to put the record straight we produce an extract from the “Life with the Mushrooms”

The rising sun's first rays gleam on the topmost storey of the City of Londonderry's Sewage Department, of course now used as a vital nerve-centre (what a promotion). In the entrance hall below a cheerful Lance Bombardier (Stinson) embarks on a careful daily ritual, cleaning the corridor, he asks the Ops Officer, Major David Whitworth, shall I pick up the carpets or just sweep the dirt underneath! This daily ritual takes place at
7 o'clock in the morning, cleaning corridors, toilet, outside area regardless of weather.

It is 0715 am. Bdr Mick Organ lights cigarette, sups coffee, checks that his seat is adjusted properly and starts to give all the stations on the Battery net a radio check. Major W enters on the Battery log - search dog has arrived "Wots yer name, dog”

0800 am. Patrol leaves after a long briefing by Bdr Billy Nicolson. Don't forget the papers, talk to old women about their weekly wash, help any damsels in distress (what damsels).

0830 am. SSgt Pete Beard (Molar Mushroom) arrives in Ops Room to count pens and pencils (Bty property) must not use too many, save some for Jason and Simon. (Only joking Rita).

1000 am. Coffee break - BSM Bill Kirchel hard at work at his favourite subject sweeping water down a drain - "bloody drains blocked again!

1015 am. Drain unblocked. Good, I have achieved something.

1115 am. Bdr -John Mellett arrives in Ops Room to take over from LBdr Tony Griffiths (Bdr Organ incidentally went to bed long ago). Whats wrong with the radios, Sir?
I don't know, just went dead, Bde Mellett waves his fingers in the direction of the console, says a few foreign words (I don't think its English - there again it could be). Well done, Bomb have a fag. Ta, Sir, trying to give it up, haven't had one for 3 days.
Ask me again in 10 minutes.'

1200 am. LUNCH, great to get out in the fresh air. Oh, its light! What shall I have today. A nice bit of fish would go down just right, No fish! Is it Friday today? NO, Tuesday, what,s the matter with you today, don't you know what day it is? (This readers, starts a full scale argument in the Cookhouse as to what day it is). Someone is bound to win when a calendar or Irishman is produced which ever appears first.

1630 pm Bdr John Adams is still on R & R he should be back soon. Q has some foot powder for him.

1750 pm. LBdr Dave Edwards helps Lt Charles Moore gather up the latest Intelligence from off the floor where it fell off the table.

1753 pm. "Can I have a look at that Playboy. ”Sir”

1755 pm Shut that floor, how many times have I to tell you that they must not see what we are doing!

1800pm. Dinner - for us - theirs is 2000 hrs. Toss-a-coin - really fancy
a nice stew or something,

2100 pm. Bdr Michael Scaife arrives to get the draft for Battery orders -He,s all smiles now he is going to see Momma on Friday.

2330 pm Patrol leaves for a security check of our area. Well briefed and willing they wind their way out of the block into the cold, wet night (You know girls - they all talk about you - we hear all about the new dress-, She's breast feeding my baby cries louder than yours- my prams better than "old …..it's surprising how much intelligence we build up)

0325 pm. Still at it, Radios working OK, fed up- with coffee, egg sandwiches, talking about the latest fashion for women. Try and read a book, I could fool the Ops Officer into thinking that I am reading (really I am having 40 winks).

070O am. Clean up time again, Dont forget the carpets Gnr Malcom Sheppard is on the corridor today. Its raining, and a new day dawns for us to giv.e comfort and aid to all our Law-abiding citizens.

TO ONE WHO KNOWS
Her name is Grace she,s one of the best,
But that was the night I put her to the test, I looked at her with gay delight
For I knew she was all mine for the night,
She is so pretty, so sweet; so slim
The Night was dark and the moon wus dim
I was so excited my heart missed a beat
For I knew I was in for a dam good treat
I'd seen her stripped, I'd seen her bare Id felt her all over, felt her everywhere oh that was the night I liked her best
And now ii you'll listen Ill tell you the rest
I got inside her, she screamed for joy For this was her first night out with a boy
I got as high, as quick as I could
I handled her gently for she was good
I rolled her over onto her side Then over on her back I tried
She was one great thrill the best in the land
That silver coloured car I loft behind.

G TROOP JOTTINGS

Since our last contribution to the Newsletter, the Troop has completed another week on the Bridge and a week in Hawkin Street. Taking us closer to our final month on this Emerald Isle, or a better description the isle of Derelicts, Gunmen and Wino's.

We have now seen the majority of the troop have their R & R, with the exception of
LCpl Ernie Henderson, who goes on the 26 Jan and LBdr (Nobby) Naylor,
LCpl Martin Peacock, Gnr George Joinson who are the last members of the Troop to go. Have a nice time lads and hurry back.

I
It was on a dark and stormy night
And a soldier stood on the bridge
The wind howled up through his putties
He,d be better off in a fridge

He didn't mind the weather
Or the Sgt's deafening voice.
It's just that he was in 'G Troop
But hadn't made that choice.

He sadly recalled that later day.
The day he had been told
He had to join G Troop
That day his blood ran cold.

He turned and tossed all through the night
And was restless through the day,
He was too young
To have his sanity taken away.

But never the less he soldiered on
A soldier through and through
The poor lad must have flipped his lid
That,s why 'he,s out on P2.

A Thought for today Does it (INT) work?

The troop would like to congratulate Gnr Dave Slack on his engagement
BEERS all around Dave.......

We would like to welcome Gunner (Rigers) Rigby to the troop. Congratulations Rigers on becoming of age, it was a long two months to get you away from the delights of Fallingbostel, to the eighth wonder of the world.

Concluding Chapters from Behind That Door
It seems as though I am duty bound to write something for our magazine at last, as I- am told that nobody else is going to it for me and that everyone else has already written something; so here goes.

Firstly, I must most strongly deny the rumour started in the last episode about my being approached by Hollywood, that is definitely untrue. Everyone knows that it is Hammer Films that hold the monopoly for films such as the one mentioned.
Secondly, it is not true that I watch the film in the cookhouse every night. There was one night last week that there was no film on to war so I had to make-do with television instead.

Now that I have got that lot straightened out I'll get around to mentioning ournottley crew. I know that they are not worth mentioning but they'll just get on my back again if I don't mention them.

I suppose I might as well start with the boss or he'll just get upset again and start threatening me with more work. He says he is getting fed up with his "Rhine Army please" image as people will be complaining that
our telephone bill is too great. So I will leave that alone this time, and tell you all a short story about his Officers Mess catering catastrophes. Last night being Burns Night a 'Haggis Dinner' was the order from the mess. Everybody knows what goes with that, (mashed Spud and turnip for our unenlightened Sassenach friends), but not our boss. He forgets to order the turnips and he tries to tell us he has connections with Dumfries.

Next on the list comes raggy tash all the way from 94 Locating Regiment RA in the heart of 'Tele Celle' . I don't know how he gets on locating there but the only thing he can locate here is his and when he gets there our only problem is disengaging him from it. Be has been known to get to work on time; once. That was on the 24fth of December when he had to be here for the R & R transport.
Still he made up for that loss of sleep at the other end of his R & R. (Well anyone can miss a bus can't they!!)

Last but not least comes 'The Neck'. He is the clerk of the section or ... so he keeps telling us. He spends two hours bashing the typewriter keys then the rest of us spend two hours correcting the results. Still someone has to keep us all amused.

Well that's all you're getting so you had better make the best of it. By the time this comes out I shall be on my R & R (Yippee). I am the last to go so I have been making everyone's life miserable here with my days to do. I seem to be last at everything over here, last to go on R & R, last to write a story., last to...,. What do you mean last at getting up as well. That does it I resign.....Fertig......

DERBY
The people gathered at the checkpoint, to go shopping in the City.
Why were their handbags checked so much, it really is a pity.
The women they stood moaning, the children hand in hand.
At this little wooden checkpoint, in a battle weary land.

Up came three youths all laughing, from the direction of the Strand. |
The sentry didn't see the pistol, that was dangling from a hand. He didn't even hear the bullet, as his body hit the floor.
The last thing he remembered, was a god almighty roar.

The soldier lay as though sleeping, with a bullet in his head.
His comrades they were wounded, in the little wooden shed.
The crowd they had all scattered, they were screaming as they ran
They didn't care about the soldier, he was just another man.

But they cared about their loved ones, and perhaps their friends as well. I
Not for the English soldiers, their souls could rot in hell
The youths ran into the bogside, and where not seen again
It sometimes makes me wonder, if our job is not in vain.

We must carry on regardless, of the cost in human lives
Because politicians bungling makes widows of our wives
Sp please don’t fret my loved ones, they will not have their way
For we are fighting soldiers, and get fifty pence a day.

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