23 JANUARY 1976 INTRODUCTION We have had two visitors since the lust edition went to press. The Commander of 1st Artillery Brigade came to see how things have changed since 5th Regiment were here and how we have been getting on. He was followed by Mr David Leake of the CONGRATULATIONS Congratulation also go to Gunner and Mrs Ferguson on the birth of their son
GUNNER M. A. ASHFORD R.I.P Mark Anthony (Joe) Ashford was murdered by Irish gangsters on Saturday 17th January as he stood on check point duty at India One in Londonderry. He was shot in his head and died instantly. He was a week older than 19. We will remember his bulky figure-,, we will remember his cheerful, manner, we will remember his enquiring mind and his engaging personality, we will remember him always. Shortly-before his death .Mark became engaged to Miss Margaret Giff, who lives just outside Londonderry. WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE THE MAFIA (3 Section C Troop) Mick "Blodwyn" Thorpe Durby lover boy" Durbridge Description: Crimes: "Its about time we had a cabby at this writing lark" came the cry. So Lbdr" Fieldhouse armed only with a pen and the memory of his brilliant nursery rhymes was tasked. We know that Willy Morgan is still with us by the occasional grunt heard coming from his blanket, a trick he has spent many an hour learning. Ron Stanton has seen the light, and his feet. The tears of pleasure in his eyes when he realised that there was actually two of them were a joy to behold. Little brother is still writing unkind remarks about him, but he is gradually being weaned away from the habit. Durby and Scouse have patched up their lovers tiff which kept us all enthralled over Xmas and Zoonie is still trying to find a way out of his beret. Porkie, Binny and Greg still fight over the privilege of switching off the lights, through which the legendary "Mafia” sleep regardless of all distractions. "Blodwyn and SS are awarded an Oscar for going on patrol without a radio, are we all still learning. SS is still ticking about his cold. Never fear, the road sweeping, puddle mopping, Strand painting "Mafia" will return to rule Fally once more. So long and good luck. MEMO Since writing the initial glowing testimonial of the Regimental Office Staff Lbdr Geoff Carter has joined us. This does not mean to I say that the testimonial is not now glowing, we feel that if at all possible our image is brighter. There were some who thought that the Adjt, was trying to promote a pipe smokers take over. This coup if there was one failed as Geoff Carter gave up his pipe on the grounds of extreme mental cruelty due to financial incompatibility. On an intellectual note he smoking habits within the office were an interesting social guide. Those who had the financial security of years of service like the Chief Clerk, John Wilson, smoke factory made... extra length non duty free cigarettes, or a pipe. This however did not include the Adjt Although RHIP (Rank has its privileges), and perhaps pay, he still fuels his incinerator with it, sacks from infantry regiments! Q, stores. On investigation they are specially imported. But for those of us who had not aspired to such heights as the factory made or the eccentricities of old socks, there were always the home rolled. Not however the ordinary white see through paper for our super-clerks. Only the liquorice stuff, looking very like the brown water proof packing that ordnance stores come in, would do for Phil Cox. He is obviously looking for promotion as he has now succumbed to the joys of a "tailor" made fag. Gnr Gary Cross tried all three versions of the weed and has now developed an unhealthy addiction to hamburgers. Seeing as how, you cannot fit a cigarette paper round a char wallah burger we can only assume he puts the tobacco in with the meat. The corrupting influence then set to work. Sgt Alan Phillips turned traitor and has stopped "smoking all together. He quickly subverted Grin* Brian Rose, who was having difficulty rolling his own anyway. Soon the whole of the typing & movements sections had given up and that half of the office is now a smokeless zone. This loaves only John Wilson and Phil Cox as the hard core unsub-vertible tobacco addicts leading what is now a smoking counter revolution. The Adjt is not counted as he smokes socks not tobacco. But, so long as there are one or two there will be a glow to report from the Regimental Office if only at the end of a cigarette. THE MUNDIE'S CLUB (Affiliated to Anonymous Alcoholics and the Flat Earth Society) A club formed to safeguard the interests and rights of gentlemen of leisure and no fixed abode in the Greater Londonderry area. Mottos Wine o my life, 1 - Principle Aims 2 - Membership a. Background. Mundie members look to the future discarding dead weights, debts and dependants and strive towards the nirvana of M. D. (memory destroyed) Should any of these requirements not be fulfilled interim associate membership may be granted during training at the Mundie's Training Centre. 3. Termination of Membership Voluntary termination prohibits re-inlistraent. Involuntary termination secures an entry in the Roll of Honour at Half cut House. 4. AQM and Election of Officers The annual general meeting takes place on the Monday following the second full moon of the months, alternately, that precede the equinoxes and proceed the winter and summer solstices. Attendances have not been good and every effort should be made to attend. Financed by Anonymous Alcoholics whose chairman, “screw-top" Vorster, takes a special interest in the Centre, its aim, is to strengthen the internal organs pupils and to achieve the correct balance between physical / mental insensitivity and Mundie,s wine intake. RULES OF CONDUCT 6. General 7. Dress This should be casual. The Quartermundie will supervise the initial issue of suits, shabby;1 and macs, flashers. Exchanges are rarely possible. 8. Eating 9. Drinking 10. Health 11. dealings with Security Forces 12. Cleanliness 1 3. Religion 14. Discipline THE FUTURE The Club prospers, and to inaugurate 1976 the Wine Laureate has composed a new bottle hymn which should be sung in B flat. Or flutter, to the strains of Celtic purge. It goes as follows. Pass port to the left A VISIT by David Leake of the Staffordshire Evening Sentinel. When I was very young- a long time ago my mother was wont to chide, "You’ll get shot if you-do that again," a cry taken up by my Editor when I made this, my tenth, visit to the Province, what he failed to appreciate was that I was in the able hands of 42, who have carried, me through three visits to Ulster, two to Germany and two to Cyprus and not dropped me once, though sundry strenuous nights in the various. messes hither and thither have left permanent scars on my mind, (I remember having to escape from the- Sergeants' mess in Cyprus some years ago by climbing through a lavatory window and then finding my way to bed by hauling myself along the camp's perimeter wire, but that is another story), It is easy to notice the Regiment's persuasive hospitality whether it be from officers and Sgts offering the freedom of their messes or a gunner on patrol preferring his last cigarette at three in the morning, but what comes over too is a sense of tolerance and intrinsic commonsense, without which the soul-sapping job you face in Northern Ireland would not be even remotely tolerable.
There is the kindness too: things stick in one's mind the “CO” when I accompanied him on a route march one evening, stopping and pretending he wanted to talk every time he noticed me reeling from side to side clutching my heart; people standing back and crossing their fingers as straddled the ladder leading from the crow's nest at Rossville Flats; gunners deliberately not noticing that climbing in and out of the rear of Landrovers isn’t as elegantly achieved by a laymen as it is by true professionals..... " ............. But best of all was the soldier who nudged me quietly during a foot patrol and murmured, Not supposed to do it really, damaging Government property.... but that beret - now if you took out the lining, and .shrunk it..." MORE FROM BEHIND THAT DOOR Here I am surrounded by mounds of paper work and to top it all I have been given the well here goes to start with, we are all still well in this small yet mysterious place. I will try to explain a bit more of what \ro do individually with ourselves to pass the time. Firstly, there is the boss, Lt Charles (Rhine Army please) Moore. In between telephone calls to Daktari or so it sounds by several mentions of a person named Judy and & Vet, he somehow manages to control us and tries his hardest to get us to change stag on time. Alas with little success but our stag system works alright give or take the odd hour. Next on the list is Bdr Bill Nicolson who, between sleeping and the odd meal in the cookhouse, manages to catch the film every night. Talking of films he says ho has been asked by Hollywood to star in the sequel to the film "Jaws", This is to be titled "Gums" or "Father of Jaws” Third member of this illustrious group of budding “Boysie Oates” is Lbdr Mick (Baggy Tash) Songster who does occasionally break away from staring and mumbling obscenities at his favourite pin ups, to venture out into the wild world of Londonderry only to find the same faces walking around in the flash -you can't win can you? Last but no means least comes me, who for the purpose of this article will remain a me. Well there it is. We are all kept busy trying not to work too hard. We do, of course, venture out into the wilds but only when the sun is shining and that is not very often out here. With the days slipping by like lightening we are all looking forward to returning home; in the meantime lookout for more from "Behind That Door” The scene is a. vehicle check point with a soldier having searched a vehicle with a number of packages in the back. Soldier: OK mate you can go now ? D TROOP NOTES Both LCpl Ikin and Gnr Sumner are both recovering well after their lucky escapes and we send our best wishes to Gnr Sumner and hope that he gets well soon. LCpl Ikin has already rejoined, the troop and will be back doing his job after a short rest. Despite this one incident and the ensuing trouble which only lasted that day the Strand area has been its usual quiet self with the lads doing their normal jobs. The period of R & R is gradually drawing to a close which is a good sign as it means we have only 49 days to the end of the tour, the arguments are now as to who is going to get onto the plane first. I leave you with a short conversation overheard between a search team Commander and the householder of a house he was searching. Search Commander: Do you know why the Army keep searching houses ? "'In Memoriam" The IRA said it was one man less What of his parents back at home But soldiers must carry on B TROOP NOTES Bdr Graham Stretch has returned from a visit to his wife minus his moustache, no one really knows the reason why. But he is growing it again Mrs Stretch. Sgt "Crazy” Davis spends his time dodging slates which he claims fall off the roof onto his head; this always occurs on the morning after the night before and when it is raining and he does not want to get wet. SSgt Warren has taken the lead in the race with Sgt Massey to see who receives the most letters from his wife during the tour. We think this was due to the bundle of seven he had the other day - Mrs Massey you had better write more or your husband will loose some beer! At this moment Gnrs Kev Rowledge and Brummie Latham are peeling potatoes, Gnr Regy Turvey is being chased up the road by Lbdr Kev (I'll stab you in the back ) Flynn, Gnr “Bones” Clayton is asking too many questions, Gnr Robbo Robinson is on stag with his fiancée. F TROOP THOUGHTS Well once again fabulous F Troop have been given the honour of gracing the pages of the Newsletter, and again you' have "been granted the privilege of reading it. Since our last entry we've been on the 'go! all the time. For the last two weeks the pace has been really telling what with the number of searches and various happenings, it is with little wonder that we poor souls are unable to relax. But alas we as noble warriors are still able to stand tall and erect. Even in these trying times F Troop still manage to come through with a smile on their faces. Now that the halfway stage has arrived the troop has had a change of observation post duties. Six section have moved from the safety of Kilo (which is located in the Masonic Car Park) to the desolate 'Tango 2. on top of the Rossville Flats. L/Bdr 'Jack' Trelfa soon got settled in, and as our resident cook proceeded to try and light the electric cooker with a match.'! (Very intelligent lad is our Jack). Five section were eventually evicted from Echo and forced to do their bit in the Masonic Car Park. This alas was too much for Sgt Pete (Bluffer) Jones, as he was actually seen off his bed or was he? Well now to more recent events concerning this immortal troop. Whilst out on patrol L/Bdr Spud Murphy (Me) found a suspect parcel. Being brave beyond question he refused to touch it, (Coward) and called upon Bdr Kenny Everitt to do so. where upon, Kenny was heard to comment, "No chance I'm going on R & R to-morrow. Gnr Beard Bentley upon hearing of the find was last seen heading in the direction of the Irish Sea. (Wonderful bunch of hero's in Six Section). If anybody see's Bentley tell him felix cleared the parcel as a hoax, and its safe to come back. More recent however a suspect air-bomb was discovered in the Bogside, and after brilliant co-operation between four and five section, the area was cordoned off. Earlier on that day a search on a possible sniper position was carried out "by TSM "Bill Brown and five section. Whilst the search was in motion Bdr !Roger' Hailes escaped serious injury when he slipped through the roof. It was said that thanks to the amount of starch Roger uses on his combats that, only his pride was hurt - Well done 'starchy'. The troop has just had its first real taste of the natives rioting. But due to the fact it was near tea time our opponents went home leaving a very dejected "F troop" behind. Couldn't someone arrange a decent riot Just for us, the cowboys are getting restless (Bentley, Gough & Co). Well that's all from this gifted troop so...., hold it, Finally on a more serious note we all at 94 Bty would like to send our condolences to the family and friends of Gnr Ashford who was so tragically killed. We also hope that Gnr Sunnier makes a speedy recovery, and learns to forget the past. To the rest of the Regiment we ask you to take care - we're almost home. THE ABOLITION OF FLECK SANGAR To call it Fleck It was so called But now its gone |