12th DECEMBER 1975
INTRODUCTION

During the past week we have found our first explosive device, or rather Cpl Phil Silk found it. It caused great excitement with 18 Battery who have been dubbed 'Handbag Battery following their handbag find. we can now expect them to search every inch of ground within the City Walls hoping to find another device.
The rest of us are hoping that they won't because we would never bear the last of it.

When the Commanding Officer returned from the Director Royal Artillery's Conference he brought the news of where the Batteries: are to go when the Regiment is disbanded in February 1977. Unfortunately he is ill and unable to let you know himself as he had promised in the last tri-monthly Newsletter.
The firm plan is that 18 Battery will move to Hildesheim to join 5th Regiment. They will retain their 175mm guns and their present role although the Battery will have six instead of the present four guns.
49 Battery are to change role to become a field battery with the Abbott 105mm self propelled gun, they I are to join 40th Regiment in Lippstadt.
94 Battery are also to become a field I battery with 49th Regiment in Hohne.

The question which will be foremost in every wife's mind will I am sure be what quarters will we get in our new stations. In all these new areas other Regiments must move out to make room for new units coming in. Therefore quarters should become available as the Batteries move. This was certainly the case on the last occasion when there was a change of batteries within Regiments. However all this is in the future-and we have a very full and exciting year ahead when we return to Fallingbostel.

The Ops Room staff of Tac HQ will miss Capt Bill MacDonald when he leaves this week for his Quartermasters Course. His hot tips on racing have kept them all in beer money, we hope he will keep sending us tips and not get himself snapped up as Racing Correspondent to a Daily Newspaper.

RADIO COMMENT OF THE WEEK

The following conversation was overheard in a Battery Ops Room
"Hello 1 this is P2, blue flashing light going past my location, over.

roger, is there a vehicle attached, over."

"P2, wait out “

Three Section Lullaby
They seek us here
They seek us there
They seek three section everywhere
In sangars, roadblocks, P.C.P.'s
On top of beds and searching trees
The wog shop, cookhouse, Ops room too,
Where on earth is that motley crew,

We hide in grass,
we hide in huts,
Desperately sucking on No,6 butts,
And though the mind it really warps,
We might, even see ..one of Mick Thorpe's

Even if the thought is silly,
We even love our little Willy,
Durby, Scouse & Zoonie to,
With Fieldy, Binny & Porky Poo.

Just because we're retrobates,
Don't forget that we are mates,
Never let your spirits fall.
Eventually you will find us all.
ANON

B TROOP NOTES

Well here we are again; having just completed a quarter- of our tour and it is time to send some more news.

We have had a few changes in orbat, having lost LCpl Elliott, Gnrs Waldie and Taylor, and gained Lbdr Graham Stretch, Gnr Barrow and Gfn Brough.

The first of the R and R periods has just passed but we still await the return of Gnr "Spick" Kimmons .who is believed to be somewhere 'in Belfast, and it has been said that he will return by the time we leave.(he is waiting for the R & R bus).

Gnrs Card and Robinson have been trying to out do each other on the 'Bridge pulling in a caravan to search and a.mobile shop respectively.

We wish Bdrs Joe Elward and Jesse James and the other members of the Regimental soccer team all the best of luck in their Gunner Cup match against 4th Light Regiment on Saturday. Lucky lads to be getting the morning off.

The followers of the Dougie Massey story .will be interested to know that there is still no news of him being sighted. It is believed that he is still in bed and not likely to appear until Dec 24th when he goes away for a rest. The BQMS is worried that he will run out of blankets now winter has set in, he has already had to call in reserves for Dougies bed.
Gnrs "Brummy" Latham and "Geordie" Walsh will be on view to the public tomorrow morning when they will be let out together.
Gnr ''Bones” Clayton still enquires whether his R and R has changed, Cfn "Taffy” Hallam still insists he is not English and Gnr "Daddy" Evans has got an infection of the cheek.

D Troop notes
I
Once again the arduous task of writing an article for this news letter has descended upon me, and once again I can't think of anything to write, So I thought I would ask the troop what I should write but this time I could not find .them as they are, as usual, in bed.
The reason for these great quantities of sleep that they seem to require I have attributed to one of two reasons. Firstly they are held by some incredibly strong force to the mattress, and secondly it is due to the fact that the moustaches that everyone seems to be growing are sapping all their strength.

The first person in the troop D to attempt to grow one was Sgt Bill Brownson, but he has since shaved it off, claiming that he only did it to show the youngsters how to do it.
The general concensus of opinion is that he shaved it off because It turned ginger, of all colours, and made him look like a rather plump elderly version of Sean Connery.
At the same time that Sgt Brownsons growth came off so did Gnr Densley's eyebrows. I'm told that they came out in sympathy, but I think that a birthday party at the British Legion Glub might have had something to do with it.

Other people with notable growths are LBdr Pete Turner and Gnr Mick Stewart, who are leading the race, although there are quite a few people in it.
The rank outsider is Gnr Jed Lainchbury who is at 100-1 that his will not show before the tour finishes.
The tour is continuing to be very quiet and the R&R plot is well under way. On the very first flight LCpl Ray Ruddick displayed the cool calm and collected manner in which D Troop enter into most things by going to sleep while he had a few minutes to spare and missing the bus to the airport, but thanks to the grace of God and the Padre's. car he managed to catch the plane.
Apart from the shooting in the Strand early last week, the area has been incredibly quiet, and as the Christmas spirit grows and the festive season approaches, the locals are becoming more friendly and we only hope that this trend continues.
The next thrilling instalment will contain a spotlight on 5 section.

GREETINGS
To all members of the Regiment from W02 Stan Maxwell (late duff SSgt) in BATUS Canada.
"Our thoughts are with you all this Christmas. Have a successful tour. We hope to meet you all again; “its a small world". . I

F TROOP THOUGHTS . Since our last news letter the troop has had quite a lot to do (worst luck) But we all settled to a steady pace and got the jobs done. The first thing we encountered was a little outing to the seaside at Magilligan Point where the troop after a little sunbathing (sorry shivering) had to act as standby for an operation at Magilligan Prison, where the warders searched the prison, Well I'm glad to say that there wasn't a riot but some of the cowboys in the troop like Gnr Ray 'Whiplash' Bentley and Sgt Alan 'Nettley' Davies were just
wishing there had been , so they could have found another way of relieving depression. well after a short stay at Magilligan we returned to camp where the boys chipped off their boots, and got the feel of their feet again.

By now the lads are getting well used to searches in the area. With the amount of searches taking place lately, it was inevitable that we would get a find. While combing the area of William St, the troop had its first small arms find. This was then sent off to Tac HQ to see if they could trace the owner. We hope to have a photo printed as proof. (The small arm belonged to a doll - Ed) .

Recently after hearing a few disturbing noises in the area, we sent troops into the patch in very low profile, with TSM, Bill Brown taking a patrol round the area on a who can run the fastest test. This has helped Jerry Nuts & Bolts'' Lowndes to lose some of that weight he is trying to get rid of, keep it up Jerry.
I
Well we'd like to welcome Gnrs Stevie Gough and Lawrence Johns back to the troop after no doubt an enjoyable R & R, they are both now learning to walk straight!
Since R & R started, time has been passing a lot quicker with everyone having something to look forward to, no prizes for guessing what.
I
Also we have been able to get out shopping at Coleraine which makes a really good break for the lads. I'm sure Six Section will agree on that. Even though they didn't see much of the town. I heard they all had a good day out, and it was reported LBdr Jack Trelfa and Gnrs Robo Burndred and Spud Murphy were feeling a little travel sick after the long journey, and had to sleep the after effects off. One of the main highlights of the past week was when Sgt Pete “Badger” Jones walked into the barbers and left the boys speechless when he paid the barber a pound. But then we realised he had got himself a
bargain because the hair from the floor is now attached to his head, well done Pete (Kojak).
Also the troop have discovered the way to get an instant step by step debrief, thanks to Bdr Soger ??StarchyM Hailes, v/ho walked around the patch with his radio on permanent send, Now the Bty and the enemy are on the lookout for somebody with lock jaw and a dog that needs a rifle barrel sticking down its throat.

we were sorry to lose Gnr Len the Feet' Sharrocks.

A couple of boys have started a Battery Magazine which comes out every week and is helping to keep up the good spirit of the troops, and it seems they wish to remain anonymous, so well done and keep up the good work who ever you are.

Anyone wishing to read this mag, the contact TSM Bill Brown who will arrange to get you a copy made out.
The mag, is called !The Informer
To 'the rest of the lads in the troop, keep up the good work we're nearly half way through the tour now. So let's keep battling on. Also as it's near to Christmas the troop would like to take this chance to wish the rest of the Regt, their friends and relations a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, bringing us all nearer I
to the month of March.

TO REAR PARTY

The fly on the TAG headquarters wall transferred itself to the Radio Room. Rumour had it the coffee was better. There we met Bdr Deak Deakin the only radio set knob twiddler with green fingers. Finding his room somewhat- solitary and too large he invested in an exotic plant.
His only problem now is how to get it back to BAOR in a kit bag, Derek J) card' Melia was next on duty. Our fly reports that he has been making frequent trips to get a piece of the action next door with 49 Bty. What if his luck is out, well if you lose your shirt it saves washing it! (Melia is Tac HQ's card sharp - Ed).

Newly promoted LBdr Steve Bonsul-Braker has had problems with insomnia or shall we put it, in slumber. So much so that they had to wake him up to tell him about his new tape. He was interested for long enough to have his photograph taken but is now back in bed. The MO has been called to deal with his bed sores.
Ben Benbow has left his mark on Victoria, working on the assumption that "it didn't move so I painted it', he attacked the empty cans in the cookhouse, The result was that the fag ash cans now gleam in every corridor.

LBdr John Pottage has just finished the interior decor and rearrangement of his half of the room he shares with Lbdr Dave Sherwood. we understand he partitioned his half to stop Dave reading the Mayfairs over his shoulders. Dave is busy soothing his nerves by knitting. So don't worry about sending us balaclava hats we have our own source.

Tony Dunning is the projectionist for the nightly flic. He got tired of showing to empty houses. So when Alice in wonderland came round he put it about that it had a double X certificate. The cookhouse was packed - suckers'
LBdr Swanny Swansborough is the CO's plain clothes driver (I wonder if I can claim pay of higher rank when he drives me - Ed). To break up his rigid military profile they gave him a wig - long curly hair. Any comments about Ringo get a glassy stare. Another unmistakeable military profile is Sgt Muscles Toefield* Ever mindful of the military waistlines going to seed he set to and produced a training circuit. Weights courtesy of the telephone cable packs from the radio room can raise the pulse rate better than any Mayfair! Gnr Wurzle Norman appears to have his own ideas on
weight training. He has been seen carrying a large parcel for the past few ays
Apparently he knows where to send it, but not how to get it there.
(the price of post these days you know) Dave we suggest 3 circuits and then throw it? Our fly moved off the wall before the answer could come back.
•
The question is was it Mick Stinson who introduced the fly or was he in bed on the day in question. - Ed.

B
Tales from a Nissen Hut (94 BHQ)

Once again I put pen to paper to continue the tale of BHQ.
The Intelligence Section have devised a new way of keeping tabs on their Int Officer Captain John Deakin.
The revolutionary idea was invented by Gnr “Rip Van" Haskayne in which the Int Officer is booked in on a board immediately he enters the Ops room and is booked out when he leaves.
According to the Intelligence Section Captain Deakin set up an all time record on Sunday 7th Dec by being in the Ops Room for a total of 48 minutes and 38 seconds during the 2.4 hour period. Bdr Charlie Butler was heard to comment "It's a good job he's not on piece work, (pun haha - Ed).

We are trying to establish the secret behind the new nickname of Gnr Ches Groves. He is fondly called Lightening Grunt, if any one can supply the answer contact the Masonic on extension 333 or send the answer in under plain cover to W02 Jack Simpson.
We have another mystery to solve, where do Bdr Terry Torode and Gnr "Porridge" Rafferty get their secret supply of fruit cake from.? (Intelligence - Ed)

We are in the middle of a sleeping competition between Bdr "Bedsores" Bartholomew and Gnr "Rip Van" Haskayne also involved is Gnr Alan Berry the EC's champion. "Bedsores" is just winning on points. The hard work done by the signallers is slowly cracking them up. Bdr Terry Kitson was seen the other day walking along the City Wall with a bucket and spade talking about Salallah to a passing, pigeon.
All the rest of us are fed up with the sand he keeps spreading round the Ops room.

Ops Officer Lt Richard Morris continues to count the days to R & R - eighteen days to do at the last count. BSM Jack Simpson has been stricken with a strange sickness, he has been partially cured by his wife sending him the latest Playboy Pin-up Calendar.
What is happening in the 3QMS stores? Why is Tommy Button walking around with a smile on his face? Why does he wear a flak jacket with his civvies? Your ace reporter is investigating. I hope to tell you in the next issue.

When Gnr Pete Roe was told he was in the Masonic Londonderry he nodded his head looked dazed and mumbled he thought he was in Hamburg, don’t worry Pete there must be a cure.
Bdr Dave Bartholomew is going on a 1000 calorie a day diet. He is quite jealous of his associate Bdr Jimmy McMenemys streamline figure. I wonder if Bdr John Baylor ought to have a go as well.

Meanwhile the BC and party still continue to "fly" around the "Bog!"

"Man of the Week" Award goes to Bdr Charlie Butler with his contribution to Regimental Football , "All one minute of it".

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

2Lt Stevenson - "Int spend too much time concentrating on bell bottom jeans'

Lamb, serenading another; it had to be ewe

Caption Competition.

CAPTION COMPETITION
Because so many photographs have been produced since we arrived it was decided to hold a series of caption competitions. The first of these photographs is shown on side one of the photo-page. The result and some other captions are shown below. The PRO claims full responsibility for deciding the winning captions.

WINNER
11 Section, 49 Bty.
Caption: Surely they dont want us to man the gates up their as well.

RUNNER UP

Gnr EVANS, 94 Bty
Caption: PRO to Padre. r?I don't think I've got a long enough lens to get a picture of HIM".

OTHERS

GNR GROVES, 94 Bty
Have you come for the full 4 months.

BDR McCALLUM
Voice from above "11th Commandmentft to prophet thou shall not eavesdrop

Lt MOORE
"So thats a flapper major

BDR ORGAN
I,ll lay you 2 to 1, that she'll close the curtains in a minute.

BDR ALEXANDER
And what hours do you do St PETER.

GNR LONG
As the Padre looks up to God, Capt THORNTON looks as well, but alas can't see him.

BSM 18
Not the 3 wise men Father! Just a Padre, a Prophet and a cheesed off soldier.

BSM 18
Of course there are three Gods Colonel, Yourself, the RSM and my God

BC 18
Tell me again how I feed the Regiment with 5 loaves and 2 fishes.

IRISH JOKE
An Irishman escaped from an asylum and wont into a dentists. "I want all my teeth out!" he ordered. Lf yore you sure?" asked the dentist.
"Oh, yes most, certainly, quite sure," the Irishman said.
So the dentist put him to sleep and took all his teeth out.
When the Irishman came round he rushed out screaming with hysterical laughter, shouting "Fooled you, fooled you I only wanted a haircut.

THE JOURNEY
Along the Strand to Altnagelvin
we wend our merry way
And back again to Bridge Camp
the soldiers for to pay.
Reveille comes at half past nine
for those who've finished stag
And stand in line all bleary eyed
for money they will nag!
You can't have that Staff Stevens says
he can1, says Corporal Miller
The paymaster in the middle sits
a staunch and stalwart pillar.

So on again to Hawkin Street
a deadline for to meet
To catch the lads before they go
patrolling on the street
We set up stall by the old mess hall
the smell is quite delicious
And sometimes stay to have a lunch
with the BSM's best wishes.

Through Foxtrot One up Shipquay Street
round the Diamond to Masonic
The stories that you hear there
some tragic and some comic.
And with the news before we go
my heart it pitter pats
You've got to pay young Gunner Snooks
on top of Rossville Flats
Up stairs along veranda’s
no elevator ride
And from fie top there can be seen
a view of the .whole Bogside
Sometimes a call to Embassy
will herald our approach
Inside a ride on 'the elevator
their O.P. to encroach.

And so arrive at Waterloo
the last in this big chain
You have not come to pay our 5fholen
we hear the men complain
It's not my type Staff Stevens said
it's like a water main!
Too late for lunch aboard the ship
the cry is rallied round
The paymaster reluctantly
puts on another pound

At last arrive at Echelon
the journey is now done
Until the day after tomorrow
when we'll do another run
And so it goes around and round
to you all we' raise a cheer
If it wasn't for your custom
we would not need be here!

PHOTOGRAPHIC DEPARTMENTAL DUTIES
(or in plain IRISH it means "DARKROOM GRAFT")

This new list of Darkroom occupations is not just another sheet of the usual demoralising and pathetically tiresome jargon you receive from above; namely duty rosters. It shall be most rigidly enforced, by none other than Non-NAZI British Army propagandist BORE MANN and all other officers and mini-Gods of the Regiment.
DUTIES
Capt THORNTON
He is responsible for keeping the Darkroom staff alert and cold. To do this he must maintain his high standard of visiting the Darkroom every day and asking the whereabouts of 'part timers', who haven't been seen in the vicinity for at least the last ^8 hrs, for example Dill or Ben sometimes known as
SGT's
and GREEN
to the world of photography) Getting back to
s ^
our illustrous PROFIT and his means of keeping the Darkroom cold. Well, we can't fi.rure out what the Darkroom door has ever done to him but he's surely carrying °a vendetta against it. Not that anyone is expected to remember a little thing like a door and the bloody great hole it fills after fighting their way through all the blankets, negs, prints, dog-ends and flaked out bodies of his darkroom slaves.
PROFIT is henceforth appointed hygiene officer for the whole of the Darkroom and will therefore personally dispose of the rats down there, excluding Dill, Ben and the darkroom slaves. Before 2459 hrs daily he is also to have given the toilets, ilfoprint machine and anything else that happens to be stationary at the time a thorough and complete de-gunging.
Note, the 25 hour day is a fairly new invention of 42nds especially created to deal with the extra work load he creates.

SGT GEEEN (Ben)
He is to carry on the. good work, he has being doing so far, that is dragging Gnr Thompson off his bed at all sorts of silly times of the day, to run off prints of good old PR stuff - ie photos of soldiers knitting.
Though he must like everyone else, learn to pile even more work onto the Darkroom at whatever ridiculous hour its maintainers mat be trying to snatch an hours sleep.

SGT LANE (Dill)
He is to be instructed in how to print and make coffee by the master of the enlarger and kettle himself, Cfn CLARKE! That way other folk may snatch a break and brew too.
Also every other day after 24hrs kip, before skiving off to the screening centre he will sweep and mop out the darkroom and generally clean up the mess he has made the previous day, week or month. After taking the screening photographs, he must henceforth
Delve into the unusual procedure of development and printing of his own film. It may seem like were picking on the poor chap but after six weeks lets just say he,s catching up.

GFN CLARKE
He must make up all the chemicals personally and not dilute them as it has come to our attention that all fully paid up members of the Free darkroom Society are spending too much time standing around clock watching whilst waiting for films to develop in watered down mixtures. All because it suggests doing it that way in the pro-war instructions that came with the chemicals.

Gnr Parry.

He is the reserve and whipping boy and must slot in as best he can.

The Trials and Tribulations
'Twas on a cold, early November morning that I alighted for the first time on the glorious soil of Northern Ireland. Gone were the visions of Kerrygold, Leprechauns and wide, rolling pastures, instead barbed wire, bombed derelicts and the Bogside.
Now was the time to pull our fingers out, pull our socks up and switch on.
Whatever went wrong?

Eight section assembled ably commanded by BDR PADDY (MACPIE) PHILLIPS, seconded by LBDR PETE (SUPERGONK) TURNER and closely followed by myself, GPL FRED (WHAT, ME WORRY?) BONES.
Then came the elite: GWRS RICHIE (CIVVIE STREET HERE I COME) PPJC3TIDGE, CLIVE (HEADSET) WOOD, JOE (COOL BUT CASUAL) ASHFC-RD and last but not least GN.R FRANK (DAYTRIPPER) SUMNER.
What, may you ask, makes this the elite section? Well, firstly, PETE, myself, CLIVE and RICHIE were refugees from HQ Bty, FRANK escaped from 18 Bty and JOE volunteered (is this boy mad?) from a Missile Regiment, This meant that only the Section Commander was originally: in-. 49 battery.

I would like to say that 49 Bty must be the only people to have cleaned the Strand Road. I was NCO 1C Bass Broom for 8 Section. Then last week, 8 Section was seen to be doing a square dance with the Strands concrete flower pots, watched over by 49 Btys guardian angel.

Apart from this there has been the usual fun of the mill patrols, mobiles, guards and manning the permanent check points. If it stays like this for four months, Fallingbostel will seem like a large over busy fairground when we return.
One incident which will remain with us always was when employed on a mobile in a local car park. Nothing happened until Magpie returned from his tour with a plastic bag. On closer inspection it was found that it contained what can only be described as a WRAC's standard equipment. This was disposed of with as much haste as possible. (They get everywhere - Ed).

The only injury sustained by myself or the rest of the section so far was when a Bogey's dog attacked me and left two small holes in the back of my hand. I am now told that it tried to drag me off and bury me.

I shall now close this unique writing achievement, by saying that there is no truth in the rumour that 8 section are getting their mattresses man packed.

49 Battery's Top 'Twenty

1 Come fly with me
2 I did it my way
3 Flowers in the rain
4 Saturday night's alright for fighting
5 Listen do you want to know a secret
6 Who wants to be a millionaire
7 Up, up and away
8. Can't get used to losing you
9 We've blown it all sky high
10, I can't give you anything
11, Bend me shape me anyway you want me
12 We got to keep searching
13 Im in the mood for love
14. Anytime at all
15. Do you wanna be in my gang
16. Call me No 1
17 They seek him here they seek him there
18. Im sitting on top of the world
19. Jailhouse Rock
20. I have often walked down this street before


BACK